![]() ![]() I end up just making weird noises and have lost off ability to communicate. It was pure liquid shit gushing out of my ass and there was nothing I could do to stem the flow. Now round one was just a preview, round two was the full show. "What the fuck, are you actually shitting yourself right now?!" ![]() "Oh my God! Well, you can either go in the shop and get some trousers or drive home."Īt this point, she's still taking the piss out of me but I'm quickly distracted my an all too suddenly familiar feeling in my stomach. "WHAT THE FUCK?! That's fucking hilarious! What are you a toddler?! Where are you?" I've shit my pants and don't know what to do." "Oh no, are you OK? Have you been in a crash? Are you hurt" I do what any sane man would do and call my wife: I sit there in a puddle of apple juice that had just rapidly passed through my digestive system and contemplate my options. It stinks, but in a way there is a small relief as the intense stomach pains are almost gone. The lean to the side has compromised my clenched sphincter, the dam gives way and the floodgates open. I park and lean over to the passenger footwell to pick up my jacket. Pulling in to the car park, I try to park as close to the store as I could and get ready to literally run through the store to their bathroom. Consider pulling over and running behind a tree or something but stuck in slow moving traffic so decide to clench and push on. I look for somewhere to stop that might have a bathroom but nowhere looks promising. I'm shifting in my chair to try and get comfy, the urge to go is getting pretty urgent. Hmm, feels like I better not push too hard to try and get that out.ĥ minutes until my destination and circumstances are getting worse. Do a little lean to the side and try to let out a fart to see if that helps. Think to myself that I'll use the bathroom at my next store.ġ0 minutes until the end of my drive and the cramps are getting worse. My next store was about 45 mins away so get in my car and crank up the air con.ĭrink the second litre of apple juice within the first five minutes of my drive and start to feel refreshed so stuck on a podcast and settled in for the drive.ġ5 minutes until the end of my drive and I start to get a bit of cramping in my stomach. I drank the first litre in the 2 minute walk back to my car as I was incredibly thirsty. I love apple juice so I'll take the 2 litres please. £1 for 1 litre of apple juice, or £1.50 for 2 litres. Before leaving the shop, I went to the fruit juice chiller. 2 hours of very heavy manual labour left me literally dripping in sweat and craving a nice cool, refreshing drink. I had one particular call that involved moving lots of heavy stock and building some massive displays. ![]() My job is driving around shops and putting out displays, leaflets, POS etc. Obligatory throwaway account and this actually happened earlier this week. ![]()
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